Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Smart person. Sometimes. April 20, 2010

Filed under: SuperWoman Syndrome — Scribbling Dame @ 9:34 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I am a smart person on most occasions but there are some things I do that I know are dumb, but I just can’t help myself from doing.

1)Feeding my kid sweets. I don’t do this excessively so her teeth rot out or anything, but I love giving my kid ice cream or candy just to watch the sheer enjoyment she gets from it. This is obviously dumb because after the sweetness of her pleasure, I am susceptible to her sugar-crazed zoo animal behavior.

2)Listening to my horoscope and astrology in general. I am not sure this is dumb as much as it is hokey, but I figure, the Aztecs did it and so did a bunch of other smart people so even though there is no logical proof that it works, there is also no logical evidence that it doesn’t! So, every day when I get my coffee at Starbucks there I am reading the daily horoscope and giving pre-emptive dirty look to the suits I can feel judging me…

3)I do not know how to use fucking Excel even though just about everyone else at my job does. On the one hand I am smart for getting away with it for so long. On the other, I am dumb for not just taking a weekend class for God’s sake.

4) I watch T.V. far more than I read which is actually a sin since I have 2 degrees in English. I don’t just watch smart people T.V. like OPB and Nova and shit, but I spend an equal amount of time watching trashy vapid T.V. like Millionaire Matchmaker and The Bachelor. Although, if I watch the trash on hulu commercial free is that maybe a little smarter?

5) I do not fucking floss, even though I know it literally adds years to your life. I barely have the energy to brush my teeth. I will live dangerously on this one and be sure to always wear my seatbelt to balance it out.

6) I always have to make the sign of the cross when I am taking off in an airplane. I am not Catholic, but I have always done this and I am sure that the ONE TIME I don’t do it, my fucking plane will crash and it will all be because I didn’t do this stupid fucking hand gesture.

7) I refuse to poop when someone else is in my workplace bathroom. I also generally try and go to another floor. Bathrooms are for pooping, yet I censor my butt.

I am sure there are more dumb things I do,but for now I could only think of seven. Stay tuned…


One Response to “Smart person. Sometimes.”

  1. Joanna Says:

    Haha, good ones! Trust me, you are not the only one at the company who doesn’t know excel :-). Don’t waste your time on a class, just do what everyone else does and send me your excel file…
    Flossing, I only do that the day before my dentist appointment and somehow he hasn’t figured out that I’m not a regular flosser, go figure.

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