Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Seedy Mom Hangouts January 16, 2013

I’m back from writing vacation. Thanks for your patience.

As a mom, there are a lot of things I would never have done as a non-mom. Wiping asses, picking boogers and watching Dora are among them. Okay–you got me–I don’t watch Dora. That voice makes me want to kill myself.

The evil is real.

The evil is real.

Anyway, it occurred to me that there are plenty of places I would never spend my time before, that I now consider part of the mom experience. They aren’t actually “seedy” but they are definitely not places I will keep hanging out once the kiddos  are grown, unless something goes severely awry with my life plans…or my husband’s vasectomy.

1) Parking lots. I hang out in my car in parking lots all the time. The cart lady at Target totally knows me. Sounds fun right? It totally is, at least when compared to the fun of waking up your sleeping baby and then dealing with their cranky no-nap shit fest. I listen to the radio, rest my eyes, catch up on email (thank God for Smartphones) and generally people watch.

2) McDonald’s “Funland” playground. For an Oregon mom on a rainy day this can be a lifesaver. Yeah there are germs and bratty kids but there is also a free indoor playground and fries. Don’t judge me–we don’t go all the time.

3)Ikea. They have free daycare for an hour if your kid is potty-trained. Do I shop? Not usually. I’ll go sit in the cafe and have a snack, or find a nice living room set up and test out the couch, all in blissful silence. I have even had friends go there for a cheap date night.

4) The mall. During the day time, this is no place for teenagers. It’s all olds and mommies. There’s food there, and long walkways for your children to tire themselves on, and if you are lucky there’s even a play area. Again, inside, away from crap January weather.

Where are your seedy mom hangouts?

 

Confessional November 17, 2009

Filed under: Mommy Issues,SuperWoman Syndrome — Scribbling Dame @ 10:02 pm
Tags: , ,

I am not Catholic but I do believe in the power of confession.

1. My kid watches too much T.V. I try and make myself feel better about this because she does only watch PBS and the occasional Pixar film. Still, she watches T.V. more than she plays outside or reads books. If her brain turns to mush  or she becomes fat and diabetic, I will know this is my fault.

2. I have fed my child McDonald’s. I live within a block of McDonald’s and I am too damn tired to make dinner every night and I need a cheap way to eat out. If she becomes fat or diabetic, I will know this is one of the reasons why. (And it is also my fault.) I also really enjoy watching her eat cupcakes.

3. I know it is vain and horrible but I am pleased that my kid is adorable and I think she is cuter than about 50% of the other kids I know. I know it is not a competition, but I am glad my kid looks amazing.

4. I am more confused now about pretty much everything, but mostly what it means to be a good mother, what it means to be a strong woman, and what is important in my life. I thought I might have more figured out by this time (since Sofia is almost 2 and I am almost 30) but I have not.

5.  I have lied to my husband about whose turn it was to change the poopy diaper. I know this is not nice, yet I figure since he is not keeping track, he could deal with a little more poop and give me a break. I have also pretended not to know that Sofia was poopy, and conveniently disappeared knowing that he will discover the “deposit” and change the diaper–even if it’s my turn. Catholic friends–how many hail Mary’s is that I wonder?

6. I don’t care if my kid hates sitting on Santa’s lap. I love Christmas and she needs to learn to love Christmas too.

7. I am totally jealous of moms who get skinny after their babies. But, I don’t hold it against them.

I feel better.

 

 
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