Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

One healthy baby, with a side of Percoset March 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Scribbling Dame @ 10:37 am
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So tomorrow is the big day. I can’t tell you how bizarre it is to know exactly when we are going to have a baby. It is a total mind fuck. We are at home today looking around the house thinking, “What else needs to get done before we have this baby?” And weirdly the answer is things like clean out the fridge and vacuum and get the dog groomed. Oh, and paint my toes and shave my legs–my last feeble attempts at staying girly and pretty before I become a human all-you-can-eat buffet. 

It’s also weird from another perspective this time, in that, we know our whole family dynamic will never be the same again. We will no longer be a threesome. My daughter’s entire existence is about to change. It sort of feels like the night before we neutered our dog. I knew things would never be the same for him again, and what was worse, I knew he had no idea it was coming. At least in Sofia’s case, there is more to be gained from this major life change than Chachi’s ball removal. Still, we will drop her off at her grandparents tonight knowing that her life isn’t going to be the same anymore. 

The nature of a countdown is also a cause of major anxiety for me. The unknowing of the first pregnancy/labor was nice in that I knew it was close but until I was in it, I could only think in hypotheticals. It is not the same as tomorrow at 5:30 a.m. a person will put a needle in my spine so that I don’t feel anything when they cut open my stomach, peel four layers of me back like an onion, cut open my uterus, wrestle the baby out and then put me back together again. (That’s the cliff notes version of a c-section for those of you who may think it is an “easy” way out. I might concede to easier than some vaginal deliveries I’ve heard of, but it is certainly not the get out of jail free card that some people seem to think.)


Relax! You're life is never going to be the same again!

The nice thing about a second kiddo is that I also know how much of all this I will forget and not care about once I see that little face. I still distinctly the remember the first time we looked into Sofia’s eyes and it is the most enchanting thing I have ever experienced. I just have to get through the final physical hurdles of pregnancy and delivery and recovery. Once that’s done, I’ll be in a very tired, messy, state of heavenly bliss. It will be great to have a newborn again, and it will be fun to see Sofia become a big sister and start to learn about how they are the same and how they are distinct from one another.   

The reality of things is, the pregnancy and delivery is but a moment in time and I will be glad when it’s over because it’s everything after that truly makes kids worth having, for those of us who are so inclined.

Stay tuned for my next post, as I am sure it will lean far more towards the absurd and hilarious than the sentimental due to lack of sleep, constant leakage of fluids, and the realization that I still can’t drink even though I am not pregnant anymore… 


In Defense of the C-Section October 20, 2009

Filed under: Vagina — Scribbling Dame @ 11:06 am
Tags: ,

I am not exactly sure why this is, but there are apparently some people out there who don’t believe that a c-section delivery is worthy of the motherhood labor merit badge. (See “Vagism.” C-Section is worth 0 points)

I think you will not be surprised to find out that I disagree! To me, saying that a c-section delivery is not the “real thing” is just as bad as saying that a soldier who lost a limb in battle is a crappy soldier. There is always a story behind a lost limb, just as there is with a c-section. Besides, where the fuck is the credit for the past 40 weeks of carrying that baby? Who gives a shit how it comes out–no matter what the method, it is still a fucking miracle. (That would make an excellent maternity shirt…)

I remember crying and feeling so defeated when I found out that I’d have to get one. Of course, I had just pushed for four fucking hours without an epidural with everyone in my nether-regions saying “One more push–we can see the hair!” Lying bastards.  Oh and the vacuum and about 12 bags of saline later…Anyway, my kid refused to turn her head the proper direction. She has very clear ideas about how she wants things done.

Now as we discuss having our second I have already started to think about whether or not I will enter into the land of VBAC. The more I think about it, the more I am leaning towards another C-section. I like that I managed to have a labor and a baby, and yet still preserve my vagina. I avoided the incontinence that I hear of. No episiotomy needed. All systems are a go down there. I got to the destination without the mileage and I am more convinced everyday that I lucked out.

Other benefits: can we say Percuset? I completely understand why that shit has street value! Those are the best naps I have ever taken. I got set up with a 4 day hospital stay where people waited on me hand and foot. With a tiny button push I got all the pudding, snacks, drinks, and pillows I wanted. I didn’t get service so good  on my honeymoon in fancy hotels! Leaving the hospital only meant 2 weeks on my back where my husband had to wait on me hand and foot. At what other time in my life could I legally get loaded, stay on my back, be completely dependent on my man AND enjoy my infant for 2 weeks?

I am thinking it’s time to get pregnant again just so I can get a damn break for two weeks!


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