Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Angst and Advertising September 27, 2012

Hey ladies– (warning to men: we are going to talk periods and tampons here so feel free to avert your eyes…)

Come here. You wanna know what?

People who make tampons and tampon commercials hate women. I mean, they really have to hate us.

Before I continue; yes, I got my period. Yes, I forgot I was going to get it back. And, yes, this is just in time for date night. Aargh. I acknowledge my angst and I embrace it.

It does not change what fucking assholes tampon advertisers and product managers are.

I am in the bathroom unwrapping my little buddy and do you know what it says on the package?

“Go get ’em.”

This is not even a fucking joke. My tampon wrapper is giving me cheesy, high school sports coach talk. For my vagina.

Exactly whom am I supposed to go get? Is my tampon supposed to get my vagina? Is this positive reinforcement for going another month without an unplanned pregnancy?

Or, is this a modern woman tampon? Am I going to go kill it in the boardroom now?

This is really me hitting my limit with lady product advertising and packaging. Every time I see a commercial for feminine products, I sort of start to hate women.

Women care about two things when it comes to vagina products;

1)We don’t want any embarrassing moments. 

2)It’d be nice to not even realize we are using the product. 

Here’s an idea. Why not turn that whole Ryan Gosling “hey girl” meme into a lady product advert? I’d much rather see his face on my tampon wrapper than fucking “go get ’em.” Go get ’em and fuck yourselves Playtex.

Time for chocolate! XoXo


4 Responses to “Angst and Advertising”

  1. Time to switch to O.B.!

    Even Goodie hair ties has some form of faux feminist bullshit on it. See:

    Enjoy date night, you. xx

  2. tadmack Says:

    Oh, yeah. It pissed me RIGHT OFF the first time I saw one of those; I thought, “SERIOUSLY!?” When I am cramps and am in a ragey mood is not the time to tell me to go and get anything. At all. Someone should be getting things FOR ME. And letting me lie down and sulk in peace…

    Happy Date Night. Go get ’em…

  3. Helenne Asebez- cousin Says:

    I can’t do anything, but laugh at this one…literally out loud! Although, I know no longer have periods and feel very blessed at this time of my life, I can relate to ‘those bloody (an old English word) days.’ I was thinking while reading the ending….Wow, how I would love to have Ryan Gosling’s name on a tampon, cause then I could brag- “I got fucked by Ryan Gosling, or Brad Pitt, George Clooney, etc…” Now you have me craving chocolate and a good ‘fucking tampon!’ Makes me miss my periods…………ah, maybe not, but tearing my house apart looking for chocolate………… and my hubby!

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