Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Love in the time of Bieber August 20, 2012

Filed under: Vagina — Scribbling Dame @ 9:18 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It has occurred to me lately that my definition of “romance” has drastically changed in my eight years of marriage (12 years of togetherness), and of course many of these shifts have occurred after having a child, and now children.

Here are three things that I now consider romantic, that had you told my younger self these things, I would have definitely rolled my eyes and felt sorry for my now self, and thought I was a total weirdo.

1. Matching tattoos. This is a suggestion from my husband. This idea is cool to him because 1) the tattoos are on sale. Seriously–they are flash tattoos for $20 and my husband will buy almost anything if he feels like it’s a good deal. Secondly, it’s spontaneous and he likes that. I usually don’t because I am the responsible boring one, but I agree that being spontaneous is a definite prerequisite for many a romantic endeavor. So, I am seriously considering it, even though I am a total wimp and it’s gonna hurt, which is why I will go first.

2. Daytime sex. Woot! This is one all of you parents of non-napping children can appreciate. Most parents have to have sex late at night because that is their only opportunity for privacy. Before we had Ellie there was the occasional spontaneous nap that would afford some love time, but the odds of both our children being asleep simultaneously AND long enough for us to play “just the tip”…well let’s just say there are better odds at a Vegas card table.

3. Vasectomy. I am laughing as I write this, but I seriously think getting a vasectomy is in the top five most romantic gestures from my husband. Before you go thinking he must be really bad at being romantic (he’s not bad at all) consider this; he is going to let another person use a knife and cauterize him near his penis and ball sack areas–fully awake, so that he will NEVER produce sperm again. I can’t think of a more intense way to say “I’m in it for the long haul.” Besides having kids, of course. I’m just sayin’. That’s commitment people.

So romantic!

 

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6 Responses to “Love in the time of Bieber”

  1. tadmack Says:

    You guys live in a good state; we tried the vasectomy thing a few years back and they said something about D. being too young. Can you even — ? I guess you have to be over 35 and either have had kids, or I’d have had to sign something… which is just weird. Or, maybe was just Kaiser.

  2. doug.s Says:

    Your husband is a good man! I’m a satisfied Team Vasectomy member..

    Join the team…

    http://www.teamvasectomy.com


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