Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Pregnant From Behind February 21, 2012

I can’t get over the fascination people have with how pregnant women look. People will say things to a pregnant chick’s face that they would never dream of saying to any other woman. I am noticing this even more with my second pregnancy than with my first. With my first, everything about my body was novel and mysterious. When would I get the “bump?” How much bigger could my boobs actually get? Would I experience the cankle? So, I didn’t particularly notice other people’s comments on my appearance.

Be it "bump" or watermelon ka-pow--we should all want to strut it...

I gained a good 50 pounds with my first born and by the end, at least 30 of those pounds were in my face. But, I was content and healthy and successfully delivered a healthy baby girl, so there was no wrong in the world as I knew it, even when I didn’t really lose much of that baby weight after-the-fact.

This pregnancy I am tiny by comparison. I weigh less now at 8 months than I did before my pregnancy. My midwife keeps asking me questions to make sure I don’t have an eating disorder and/or I am not starving. But, I am eating at least 6 times a day, have totally upped my protein intake and still can’t seem to pack it on.      With being put on disability early and dealing with “gestational diabetes” (it’s a real thing it’s just that since my “diagnosis” I haven’t had one damn abnormal blood sugar reading) this pregnancy has actually been fairly unhealthy comapred to the last one; and I am getting the most compliments on how I look. Apparently I don’t even look pregnant from behind, whatever the fuck that means.

I am not sure what to do with this. On the one hand, I am hoping I can maintain this magical metabolism post-pregnancy so I can get back to a healthier size, and it is nice being constantly told how lovely I look, even though I have absolutely nothing to do with this outcome. I also don’t mind that I can still wear some of my non-maternity shirts.

On the other hand, I figure, shouldn’t I look pregnant from behind? It seems a shame not to look pregnant when I am in fact so pregnant I have to roll my legs out of bed first so I can build the momentum to move my torso. I am also pretty sure that my husband will have to paint my toenails for me from now on.

The one time a person should look pregnant, from any direction, is when they are, in fact, pregnant. And, the last thing a pregnant woman should be made to feel insecure about is her appearance.  Don’t worry–she has plenty of competing guilt about other topics like her diet, her birth plan, the choices around immunizations and circumcision. If you must, if you are absolutely compelled to comment, tell her she looks magnificent–if only for the reason that she is bringing new life and hope into our world.



2 Responses to “Pregnant From Behind”

  1. tadmack Says:

    People are such dorks. I’m sure pregnancy is stressful enough without people feeling the need to join the Greek chorus and ooh, aah, or bemoan things for you. Let it now be said that you look good, coming or going.

    My friend Kathy lost weight with every pregnancy, and she was, overall, a woman of substance, shall we say. For some reason, her body just kind of ate itself, and she was always at her lowest weight when carrying.

    Incidentally, my sister had a first pregnancy much like your current one – the whole health scare, early disability, bed rest, nurses looking cross-eyed at her as if she was bulimia-barfing in the bathroom between prenatal visits, then she delivered with c-sec with pre-eclampsia and went straight on into eclampsia. Good times. When she got pregnant again a year later, and we all winced… but it went like gang busters. She gained weight and everyone had something to say about her body, patting it, caressing her “bump” (she wanted people to GET OFF HER, too – at least I hope no one is doing that to you), and saying things that she really wanted not to hear about her backside (“From behind, it’s totally unnoticeable!” Oh, goody.) On the other hand, the baby was nine pounds and placid, no diabetes or eclampsia, and she is down to a healthy weight and getting lower. It’s all a crapshoot. Here’s to rolling snake-eyes, babe.

  2. I’m not even going to comment upon the picture, thanks … except, well, she copyrighted her baby’s idiotic name. Here’s hoping you don’t go there (and that your baby can successfully navigate the shoals of ordinary humanity).

    Here’s hoping we get to see you again before we leave this island, and that you’ll be here for something long-term.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s