I never cease to be impressed by how smart a four-year-old can actually be. My kid is a god-damned genius. I say this not in reference to any academic capabilities–she’s totally fine in that area and has a good vocabulary etc., etc. It’s her ability to manipulate any situation to her advantage and negotiate the hell out of anything. For a four-year-old this means getting out of trouble, and negotiating less bites of dinner required before dessert.
Most kids have an imaginary friend that they have tea parties with or keep as company if they are lonely. My kid has a pack of baby tigers who are responsible for all things naughty that she does. Her imaginary friends are her scape goats, uh tigers.
Why Sofia cannot stay in bed all night without waking up mommy and daddy lately: Baby Tigers are playing and keeping her up.
Why Sofia’s socks come off immediately in the car: Baby Tigers take them away.
Why Sofia’s room looks like the aftermath of the Zombie Apocalypse: Baby Tigers won’t put things away.
In general, if I get after Sofia for something: Baby Tigers aren’t listening.
As far as I can discern, baby tigers live in various light fixtures in the house. I am told there are 18 of them.
Sometimes I think I am smart and I will scold the baby tigers directly, or threaten to put them in time out, but Sofia is smarter and will tell me every time how ineffective this is.
I am both impressed, and as usual, bested. Sigh.