The older I get, the larger my purse seems to become. Every time I get a new purse i try and streamline, but I would not even think of leaving the house without the following in tow:
1. Kleenex, otherwise somebody’s sleeve is going to hell in a handbasket.
2. A pen, to distract your child from inherent evil tendencies. Also to fill out any police reports, should they be necessary.
3. Gum. Something to cease child whining and cover alcohol smells on your breath.
4. A snack. For you or for baby, either way protection for the good of society.
5. Lip gloss, so you can pretend that you or anyone else actually cares how you look now that you are basically a rusty used uterus and supplier of food.