No lies. I’ll start a family events review gig at CultureMob soon (for the PDX Metro Area), and this was the cover letter that convinced them. They are clearly complete fucking weirdos, which means it’s likely to be a fun venture.
Application Question: Tell us a little about yourself:
I obviously have low self-esteem since I am kind of titillated by your low-paying gig. What can I say, I am a sucker for humor. [The Craigslist ad they posted was pretty funny.]
I. Can. Also. Write. Full. Sentences. No, seriously, I can. I have an MA in English, and like all good english majors I don’t do anything for real money related to my degree.
I have procreated an almost three-year-old which means I deserve a medal for successful sexing. It also means that I am an expert in the “family” category because my kid doesn’t have a criminal record and we have taken her places.
I would like to be part of a family blogging gig that doesn’t involve “magical moments” or some other cotton candy shit like singing pedophile guitarists, but maybe this means I should not write for the family category. I guess it depends on what you want.
I like to swear, and prefer to swear, but don’t have to swear.
You will see my resume has almost nothing to do with writing, but I assure you I have been doing it all my life, starting at age 6 when I wrote a mystery series about missing cookies. I also illustrated it myself, but I wouldn’t apply for an illustration position any time soon.
P.S. I would not pass this one on to your unemployed friends.