Lately, over ice cream, I have been developing a theory: wise women are fat.
I cannot think of a woman that falls into the category of mentor or sage or role model who is thin. Which is not to say that they don’t exist but I am willing to bet that any wise woman you can think of has some unconventional characteristic be it crazy hair or weird clothes or a mole or something.
Which got me to the question, which came first? Is the wise woman fat or is the fat woman wise? (Insert any distinguishing characteristic to replace fat.)
In Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert (or Julia Roberts if you only saw the film) spends the first part of her journey of liberation in Italy gorging herself and buying bigger designer jeans. Did her newfound knowledge about her needs cause her to let go of her image or did letting go of her image allow her to find knowledge?
Most of us moms do not look the same way that we did pre-baby, unless you are a winner in the genetic lottery, to which I say congrats and fuck you, which I totally mean in a nice way. For the rest of us, some of this is genes and some of it is straight up energy: what mother has the time or money for that matter, to fuss over her image like she used to? Most of us feel lucky to shower! In some ways I have found my new body liberating and dread the times I have to squeeze into Spanx (for other reasons than appear in Do Not Trust the Peehole). It is a physical conformity and I frankly have more important things to worry about on a daily basis. Other times of course, I feel old or fat and well, matronly. No matter what, I feel wiser than I was prior to motherhood.
When I think of being wise and the women I look up to, they all have a clear sense of who they are and they are not timid about showing that real self to the world. Because they are women, I believe their identity or self plays out in a physical sense, hence being rotund: I am a self who likes food. Crazy clothes: I am a self who has her own sense of style. Crazy hair: I am someone who likes to be edgy. Or, I am someone who doesn’t believe in hair product.