As Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) approaches I am of course thinking of love, and given that my love and I have been together 10 years and have a child; time.
When I was a single lady I spent my V-Days with my best friend, watching 80s movies, dying my hair and eating a pint of ice cream; enjoying myself but longing for romance. These are fond memories that seem like forever ago.
Today we took down the baby gate that was at the bottom of our stairs because Sofia is old enough to go up and down them without any help so there is no danger there, and, she is old enough to play in her room on her own. We no longer have a baby in the house! How sad! Also, when did that happen?
Simultaneously, I am very happy with my lot this V-Day. There is no anxiety or anticipation. No disappointment, because honestly, there are no expectations. To those of you who have been partnered off for a while, this probably resonates. To those of you who are still in the throes of young romance you probably think I am married to a cardboard box. If there is one thing I have learned about love from those who have been married for decades, it is that love has stages.
I feel like the first stage is like a plum: young, colorful, bursting, juicy, and firm (kind of like my pre-baby body 🙂 and sadly seasonal. Stage two, my current stage, is the prune: less flashy and sexy, but sweet and reliable, healthy and nourishing. For the third stage I will have to come up with a new metaphor…
Becoming parents together has really shown me what love can be–first of course the new discovery of what it means to love a child and the joy that goes through your blood and bones as well as a new dimension of love for my husband for the amazing and loving father he is. Another element of this new discovery is the love of everyday partnership–the things that my husband and I do for each other every day to make it in this world as working parents. Some of my favorite gestures: getting my hair stroked while falling asleep in bed, cappuccinos on the weekends, a surprise flower at my desk at work, dropping me off at work so I don’t have to walk in the rain from the parking garage. These are the everyday diamonds and roses from my love, and though he is by no means perfect, he is perfect for me.
So, the Valentine’s Day plans are getting together with some friends for Bar-b-Que at a local restaurant, because nothing says I love you like pork ribs! Given that we don’t have a million dollars for us to celebrate properly with a shopping trip to Paris, I am quite content with true love every day and good company to celebrate it. I wish you all the same good fortune.