Since my full throttle admission to motherhood, I have, in many ways, become more empathetic towards my own mother (in some ways less so). I have realized that there may be plenty of moments to come when Sofia thinks I am a complete nut job as I try and navigate her through the world in one pure, virginal, intelligent piece. Yet I still think the following voicemail content from my mother this evening may just be plain crazy. In summary, the key points of her VM were as follows:
1) She forgot to ask me when we spoke last if her ex–husband of 15 years (the man I grew up with as my father) has called or if he is still MIA. I love that we spoke for 30 minutes last week and this is an afterthought she has of our conversation which essentially checks in on my emotional well-being. A funny omission if you ask me, and a thinly veiled curiosity of gossip quality. How does one respond to this? (Beep) “Hi yes Mom I am calling to let you know that he is in fact still a child in a man’s body and has no understanding of what it means to take responsibility as a father. Call me later! ”
She then transitions to her second very important message which she says is “on a cooler note:”
2)I absolutely must check out jklivin.com because there are pictures of Matthew McConaughey with his shirt off there and she is not sure if I am a fan but she is a fan and “he is one fine lookin’ man” so I should make sure to go to this site (which in actuality if you are interested is http://www.matthewmcconaughey.com) After I puked in my mouth a little, I laughed because I am not anti-Matthew M., but I have never been a fan and I have certainly grown out of searching the internet for shirtless pictures of the men I do think are “fine-lookin’.” This moment for me felt like the times my grandma asked me if I was dating any “hunks.” I think she actually called me to tell me #2 but used #1 as a logical excuse for touching base again so soon…
I can only look forward to the day when I can leave my daughter absurd and inappropriate messages on whatever iDevice, and she can then telepathically blog about how her mother is certifiable.