Scribbling Dame

Preposterous Pondering.

Number Two January 7, 2010

Filed under: Mommy Issues,Vagina — Scribbling Dame @ 10:05 pm

No, this is not a blog about poo. (Although do the hand motions in the Activia commercials bother anyone else?)

This is about me thinking about doubling my mothering fun. Now that Sofia has turned two, she is so independent and I miss having a baby baby around. Not-to-mention a ton of women at my job are having their (first) babies, making me miss the old days.

I miss the little gurgly sounds and the tiny hands. I miss the QUIET snuggling and the soft new infant cry. I loved being pregnant the first time and think now that I know what to expect it would be even more fun the second time around.

So why am I so scared to take the plunge? Because I know what it means to be a mother and how much work it is! I feel swamped and tired now, yet I want to double my work? Also, I have heard the horror stories of the good first baby and the second-baby-Satan. Sofia was a good and “easy” baby and even now is pretty low-key, which means karmically speaking my next will ruin my life. Then there is deciding if I go VBAC or not…

But then I think of how much fun Sofia is and how she makes all my troubles melt away. I think of all the giggles and funny moments and pure joy I get to experience and why wouldn’t I want more of that? Besides, I am older getting older, not younger, so the longer I wait, the less energy I am likely to have, right?

Who am I kidding? I am just going to do it. I am turning 30 this May and I am doing it (the turning of the thirty) in Spain so why not do the other it (the sexin) and make another little Roylance? What better way to make a baby than in Spain at the prime of my life? If it doesn’t work out, I’ll only have to deal with the consequences for 20 or so years…


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