I am not exactly sure why this is, but there are apparently some people out there who don’t believe that a c-section delivery is worthy of the motherhood labor merit badge. (See “Vagism.” C-Section is worth 0 points)
I think you will not be surprised to find out that I disagree! To me, saying that a c-section delivery is not the “real thing” is just as bad as saying that a soldier who lost a limb in battle is a crappy soldier. There is always a story behind a lost limb, just as there is with a c-section. Besides, where the fuck is the credit for the past 40 weeks of carrying that baby? Who gives a shit how it comes out–no matter what the method, it is still a fucking miracle. (That would make an excellent maternity shirt…)
I remember crying and feeling so defeated when I found out that I’d have to get one. Of course, I had just pushed for four fucking hours without an epidural with everyone in my nether-regions saying “One more push–we can see the hair!” Lying bastards. Oh and the vacuum and about 12 bags of saline later…Anyway, my kid refused to turn her head the proper direction. She has very clear ideas about how she wants things done.
Now as we discuss having our second I have already started to think about whether or not I will enter into the land of VBAC. The more I think about it, the more I am leaning towards another C-section. I like that I managed to have a labor and a baby, and yet still preserve my vagina. I avoided the incontinence that I hear of. No episiotomy needed. All systems are a go down there. I got to the destination without the mileage and I am more convinced everyday that I lucked out.
Other benefits: can we say Percuset? I completely understand why that shit has street value! Those are the best naps I have ever taken. I got set up with a 4 day hospital stay where people waited on me hand and foot. With a tiny button push I got all the pudding, snacks, drinks, and pillows I wanted. I didn’t get service so good on my honeymoon in fancy hotels! Leaving the hospital only meant 2 weeks on my back where my husband had to wait on me hand and foot. At what other time in my life could I legally get loaded, stay on my back, be completely dependent on my man AND enjoy my infant for 2 weeks?
I am thinking it’s time to get pregnant again just so I can get a damn break for two weeks!